feeling very unsexy

[peachville]

I had plans today.  They weren't the most exciting but they were mine. 
I was going to do my laundry and enjoy a little relaxation/me-time.  (Read: hot shower & orgasms.)  But instead I was visited by a guy I know who bothered me for several hours. 
And after today's "fun" (see my previous post--a letter to the jerk who creeped me out & pissed me off today--for more details), I realized that I don't even want to touch myself at the moment, let alone let anyone else. 
(Although I wouldn't mind another hug from my dad or mom, and I can't wait to visit with my best friend tomorrow & get a bear hug.  I just hope I'm not feeling so weepy tomorrow, because I hate crying in front of people!)

I hate people who take liberties I've not granted--people who don't even ask. 

Many of my family members have gossiped that they think I'm "a big lezbo" and others seem to think I'm a big slut.  The truth is that I want more than a quick grope or fuck.  And I'm not interested in helping a guy cheat on his girlfriend.  I want a guy to call me, and at least date me a bit.  I definately don't want to be touched with intent just because I'm there.  I haven't ever been touched sexually by someone I wanted to touch me.  I've never been touched that way by someone I wanted.  I had my first and only kiss when I was nine.  I've had a few opportunities to be kissed since then--but it never felt right. 
Because:
1) I'm not into cheaters and
2) I don't want to be kissed my some drunken louse that doesn't give a damn about what I want &
3) even if you're a nice girl, I'm honestly not attracted to you.  I don't want to experiment and I'm not feeling confused and you creep me out.  So don't touch me without permission, I'm not interested!)

Comments

[elkebaby.livejournal.com]

I'm going to text him and let him know that I find it rude to come over without calling & that I'm not interested in being friends with him.